Pundits yapping on TV!
Idiots tweeting endlessly!
More scandals than I can forgive!
It's enough to make me want to live
In a van in the desert.

Traffic makes me want to scream!
Impoliteness reigns supreme!
What's happened to society?
It's enough to make me want to flee
In a van in the desert.

Global Warming soon will drown us!
Overpopulation'll down us!
Fears a person can't abide!
It's enough to make me want to hide
In a van in the desert.

Clear and unpolluted air;
Flowers blooming everywhere;
Friends to chat with every day;
It's enough to make me want to stay
In a van in the desert.